Domestic Adoption Questions and Answers

Why do people choose adoption?
How will I know if adoption is the right decision for my child?
If I am only 17 can I make an adoption plan on my own?
How much can I be involved with choosing a family for my child?
How much contact can I have with the family after the birth?
How will I be sure that the adoptive families will keep their commitment for whatever contact we agree upon?
How are the families selected to be adoptive parents?
How does this process involve the father of my baby?
Will I be able to get any financial help during my pregnancy?
What if I change my mind about adoption?
What happens if I feel that I need counseling after making an adoption placement?
How will my child feel about me because I chose to make an adoption plan?
Can Alliance provide assistance to a pregnant service woman currently enlisted in the military, even if stationed overseas?

Why do people choose adoption?
There are a number of reasons why Birth Parents choose adoption. These may include: a single mother who wants her child raised in a two parent home, a married or dating couple who may feel too young to be parenting or who may not have the financial resources to raise a child at this time. Many are already parenting other children and feel that they do not have the emotional, psychological or financial resources to parent another child. Some Birth Parents may want to complete their education or are having employment difficulties at the time of the pregnancy. Every Birth Parent has individual circumstances that bring them to consider making an adoption plan. Only you can make the decision that is best for your child, your family and yourself.

How will I know if adoption is the right decision for my child?
Adoption Counseling will provide you with guidance on how to evaluate all your options. You may need to make a list of the pros and cons of parenting or not parenting and what resources are available to you in either circumstance. Only you can make the choice and the counselors at Alliance are committed to assisting you with that process free from any judgements or coercion.
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If I am only 17 can I make an adoption plan on my own?
You can make an adoption plan legally without parental involvement. The agency will hire an attorney on your behalf to make sure your rights are protected and understood. However, we know from experience that birth parents need all the support that's available to them. Sometimes birth parents fear their parent’s reactions and do not want to tell them about their pregnancy and/or adoption plans. Your counselor will assist you with telling your parents if you want them to. But it is your choice alone whom to include in your plans.
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How much can I be involved with choosing a family for my child?
You will make the choice about how much or how little involvement you want in that process. If you want to select the family, you will be asked to think about what kind of family you prefer. You can choose whether the family has other children or are childless; you can make a request about the religion or race of the adoptive family. You can choose from single or two parent families. You will make the choice whether to meet or not meet the adoptive family that you have selected. If you do not feel comfortable with making these choices, the agency can choose the family for you.
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How much contact can I have with the family after the birth?
You and the adoptive family develop a plan that works best for your situation. You may choose not to have contact. You may want letters and pictures sent through the agency till your child turns 18. You and the adoptive parents may want to have continued personal contact on a regular or informal basis.
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How will I be sure that the adoptive families will keep their commitment for whatever contact we agree upon?
Some states have post adoption contact agreements that can be legally enforced. This means that if the family discontinues the agreed upon contact, you can go to court to have the agreement enforced. This contract will not allow you to end the adoption, simply to guarantee that the contact continues per the agreement. Our counselors can advise you on making such an agreement.
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How are the families selected to be adoptive parents?
Pre-adoptive families are carefully prepared for raising an adopted child and thoroughly screened by a review process that includes:
- Clearance from State Child Abuse Registry and Criminal History
- Complete Medical Histories
- Financial Disclosures
- Personal References
- Assessment and Approval by a Licensed Social Worker
- Mandatory Adoption Education classes
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How does this process involve the father of my baby?
We encourage the participation of birth fathers in the decision process. The birth father has a legal, moral and ethical right to be included in the adoption process. Sometimes, birth fathers do not want to be involved in the process. In that case, there is a legal process that involves notification which may be in person or by a legal notice in the newspaper. If the birth father does not respond to the notification, there is a court process to allow the adoption to proceed. If you have an adversarial relationship with the birth father the agency will handle any contact with him for you.
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Will I be able to get any financial help during my pregnancy?
You may be eligible for financial assistance. You will be asked to complete a financial worksheet to determine how much assistance you can expect. The amounts are determined by your demonstrated need and by the legal limits of the laws governing adoption. Allowable expenses include; rent, food, medical expenses, transportation expenses to work or for medical care, clothing and some educational expenses.
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What if I change my mind about adoption?
You are free to make your own choices and Alliance for Children and your counselor will support your decision regardless if it is to parent or to make an adoption plan. Once you sign your consent for adoption, the decision is final so your counselor will not permit you to sign until you are ready for the commitment. If you need more time to think through your decision, the agency can provide transitional care for your baby to give you more time to be certain about your choice.
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What happens if I feel that I need counseling after making an adoption placement?
The agency will provide continued counseling either through the agency or will provide funding for counseling outside the agency. The agency counselors will remain available to Birth Parents for as long as they need support.
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How will my child feel about me because I chose to make an adoption plan?
There is no way to know exactly how your child will feel. However, meeting with the adoptive family, spending time with your child at the hospital, and maintaining contact with the adoptive family will demonstrate to your child that you made a thoughtful conscientious plan. The adoptive family is important to how your child will view your decision. The family is an eye witness to how much you loved this child and how hard this decision was for you. You did not abandon your child; you participated in a very difficult process to ensure that your child had the best opportunities for a stable life. Someone once said "What do truly good parents do for their children?" The response was that good parents make difficult choices in the best interests of their children regardless of the pain or judgement they may endure in those decisions. Adoption is not a selfish decision by Birth parents...it is a selfless one.
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Can Alliance provide assistance to a pregnant service woman currently enlisted in the military, even if stationed overseas?
Alliance for Children is a non-profit adoption placement agency that may be able to help, even if overseas. Specifically, we may be able to offer assistance in the following ways:

• Educating you about your options so that you can determine what is best for you and your unborn child;
• Providing confidential counseling by our caring staff before and after birth;
• Coordinating prenatal and post natal care;
• Helping you find a loving adoptive family that is pre-screened (with police and FBI clearances and an approved home study by licensed social worker); and
• Offering financial assistance with pregnancy-related expenses (such as food, rent, utilities and transportation).

We will do our best to accommodate your hours of availability, even if stationed overseas. All agency services to you are free of charge.

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