The Adoption of Our Second Child
By Laurie Beckert

The decision to adopt a second child is not an easy one. By the time we made the decision to adopt again, our daughter, Janna, was 4 years old. Janna was adopted from Russia at 9 months of age, and that adoption process went smoothly. I think Janna and I bonded almost instantly when we first met, and upon arrival home Janna had no problems adapting to her new life. Janna was thrilled when we received an assignment for a sister, a 1 1/2 year old girl named Denisa. Unfortunately it wasn't until a year later that the Romanian Adoption Committee allowed us to travel to pick up Denisa. The wait was LONG!!!

Denisa arrived home at the age of almost 2 1/2 , she presented us with many medical problems, some of which took months to clear up and some of which still linger. She had great difficulty sleeping, waking every 2 hours screaming, and wanting to eat constantly, crying and rocking on her feet whenever I "tried" to prepare a meal. All these factors made bonding or playing with a sibling very difficult. Denisa could not speak or understand English, a very frustrating predicament for a 2 1/2 year old. Denisa's behavior was difficult when she was not feeling well; however, she would always be very charming and engaging when around other people, even strangers, perhaps thinking she would get more food, more attention; behavior that in an orphanage might be essential for survival.

Now, 14 months later, things have settled down. Denisa knows we are her family and this is "her" home. She understands English very well, and is speaking fairly well. She is seeing a speech therapist to assist with her articulation. Denisa still has difficulty sleeping, but now rocks and rolls herself to sleep without screaming. Denisa and Janna have developed a good, loving relationship and play together well. Of course, they fight at times just like any other siblings.

The process of adopting a second child was much easier, as we were familiar with all the paperwork, but we weren't prepared for all of the health and behavioral problems. What helped me through our difficult beginning the most was our pediatrician. He was very patient and took lots of time helping us through Denisa's health problems. Also, my children are very lucky to have 2 adopted cousins, about their same ages: one Russian and one Romanian.

The integration of Denisa into our home, our family, was not as we had expected, but we feel very lucky to have both Janna and Denisa as our children, and take great pleasure in loving them and watching them grow and learn.