Two Generations of Adoption
By Susan Leipman

As I sit to write this, I realize that it was a year ago this week that my life was changed forever. It was then that my beautiful daughter, Jessica, came into my life. As I look at the vivacious two year old joyfully laughing and swinging at the park, I marvel at who she is, how she has changed me and the family we have become. I look back at the events that brought us together.

Growing up an adopted child myself, I had always seen adoption as a way to build loving families. My parents raised me to be proud of who I was and to be completely comfortable with the fact that I was adopted. I felt then, and still do, that I am privileged to be adopted. I have two wonderful families in my life, one, who I never met, loved me enough to know that they couldn't raise me, and one who took me in and gave me the best life a child could have. As a teacher I work with many adopted children. I try to instill in them the pride of being adopted that I feel.

It is this pride and my own positive experiences that led me to adopt a child myself. I was thirty years old and helping my friend, John, raise his three boys after the death of their mother. I was well aware of the fact that you could love a child with all your heart even if you had not given birth to him or her. The boys were growing up and I longed to have a baby in the house and I knew it was time to add a little girl to my family. Once I had made up my mind, there was no turning back. I opened up the yellow pages and began calling adoption agencies. The minute Fiona picked up the phone at Alliance for Children, I knew it was right for me.

A few weeks later I had my first home study meeting. Reneé, my social worker, asked me to write an autobiography. She told me that people took anywhere from a few weeks to a few months to write it. I wrote it that night!

Before I knew it, I had a referral for a beautiful little Russian girl named Olessya. When I read her medical report I was nervous, but, when I saw the bright- eyed five month old on the video, I was in love and convinced that she was fine. Unfortunately the video was almost five months old and I was sure that she had changed greatly in that time. As luck would have it there were three families leaving for Hospital 13, Olessya's orphanage, that week. They agreed to take new pictures and a video for me. I was thrilled and so appreciative. Waiting the week for the video to arrive seemed endless, but, it was well worth the wait. She was so healthy looking in her little red, white and blue polka dotted sailor dress. I knew that everything would be fine.

The summer was an anxious one filled with ups and downs as we waited for a court date. As a teacher I had hoped to get a date over the summer, so as not to miss much school. Also, John had decided to travel with me and needed to make plans at work. Unfortunately, the Russian court system and their vacation schedule had other plans for us.

Finally, at the end of September the call came! We would be traveling on October 3rd with the Kraus family, who we had already met through Alliance. I can not explain the joy that I felt. I literally flew through life for the next ten days waiting to leave. There was so much to do to get ready and I was so excited I couldn't think straight. The only thing that dampened the occasion was my intense fear of flying. There was only one reason that I would get on a plane and fly half way across the world and that reason was waiting for me in a small orphanage in Moscow.

The flight was rather uneventful except for the fact that I sat and gripped the arm rest so tightly that it almost detached from the seat. I was glad to have John and Lisa and Bryan Kraus there to help to keep me calm. We landed in Moscow on October 4th and were met by Katya and Mikail, our translator and driver. They became our lifeline for the next eighteen days. We were all exhausted and went to the hotel to sleep. The next day we would meet our babies!

As we rounded the corner onto a narrow street where Hospital 13 was located a truck approached in the other direction and both vehicles were stuck. Mikail held his ground, as did the truck driver. Here we were sitting in a standoff on a narrow street and my baby was waiting for me! After an agonizing five minutes in which no one budged, we decided to get out and walk the half a block to the orphanage.

Hospital 13 was an old building in a rundown neighborhood. As I entered, I was struck by the love in the air. As we looked in one room, older women were furiously washing windows with newspaper so that their young charges would have a clear view of the world. We were led to a small office where an elderly woman sat behind an old wooden desk. We were told that she was the orphanage director. She smiled at us and said something to Katya in Russian. "She says that the baby looks just like you", Katya translated. I beamed, but could not help wondering how many other women sat in this same chair and heard the same comment!

After a few minutes a young doctor entered the room holding a gorgeous thirteen month old girl. I couldn't believe that the moment had finally arrived. I wanted to take her in my arms and hold her tightly, but, I knew that she was not ready. While I had spent months loving her and thinking about her, she knew nothing of me and her new life. We did not need to rush things, we had a lifetime to get to know each other. I took her tiny hand and gave her a small teddy bear and a music box. She seemed afraid of the bear, but, took to the music box with the spinning puppies. I watched her intently trying to take in every aspect of her being. I was in awe of her every move. I could not get enough of her. She let me hold her, neither crying or smiling. She just watched, trying to make sense of what was happening.

As the days passed I fell more and more in love with this amazing little girl. There were so many firsts; the first smile, the first Cheerio and the first MacDonald's Happy Meal toy. By the end of eighteen days we were all ready to go home. Jess had bonded to us and now smiled constantly and loved to play. There were three boys waiting at home to meet their new "sister". They knew that families are not always created by birth or relations, they are created by love.